We talked already about owning your weirdness and being content with the strengths you have, but there’s an often overlooked question within there. How in the world do you do it?

As someone who needed more help than the average bear in this regard, here’s the best advice I have (so far!):

  1. Keep Learning
  2. Keep Experimenting

There is a joy to getting clarity… to finally feeling like you have the answer to a question you weren’t even sure you were asking. The thing is, we’re not taking a test where there’s a single right answer. It’s more like a life-long essay question that we keep adding to over the years. There’s always more to learn, if you’re open to learning. 

I am still getting new insights on my own strengths. I ask questions of my clients to help them do the same. Sometimes, things become so familiar that we think we know the answer without actually asking ourselves the question. But as humans, we’re always changing. In the same way that the seasons are always changing from one into the next. They don’t change in one day, but rather incrementally until all of a sudden we finally NOTICE the change. The key is to notice what you’re learning (and adjust as necessary)!

The other piece is around experimenting. There are lots of ways for each of us to be successful at work. Just because you have a specific skill set doesn’t mean you’re stuck in exactly the same job for the rest of your life. If you’re enjoying the work, that’s fine, but for many Americans, that simply isn’t the case. So start to think about ways that you can use your exact same strengths slightly differently. 

Here’s an example. One of my favorite things to do over the course of my technology career was to help people use technology to be more efficient and effective. Sometimes, that was simply sharing tips and tricks I’ve learned with someone over lunch; sometimes that was conducting department-wide education sessions. Both of those are examples of teaching. I’ve taken that strength and applied it in a new way to the work that I do now: I teach people how to identify and tell their best story so they can work authentically. 

You may already be experiencing success by leveraging your strengths. But you may also discover that when you experiment, you start working at a level of success you’ve never seen before!

#PositiveAction Pick a strength to experiment differently with this week and notice what changes!

 

Photo by me. In a Target parking lot. Proof that inspiration really is all around us if we're willing to look!

 

Contentment strengths work career coach
Content-mint!

*Ignoring my mint joke in the title… Contentment in American society today is even more difficult to find than a person who has actually achieved work-life balance! But when you’re content with what you have, whether food, clothes, or your unique strengths, you can not only be grateful for them and enjoy them but you can find creative ways to use them. 

So what’s that got to do with being weird

We talked last week about the importance of owning your weirdness, those things that make you unique. It’s hard sometimes, to appreciate the thing that’s made you weird your whole life. Quite likely, it’s been labeled as bad by someone else and it takes some mental and emotional work on our part to reclaim that same weird thing as awesome! 

That’s exactly the work we need to do, though. You can never fully appreciate your strengths as long as you’re comparing them to someone else’s. You’ll always be able to find someone using similar strengths in a way that you think is better. The internet is great in a lot of ways, but it also puts comparison in our face ALL. THE. TIME! Look at this person being awesome over here! *Feel a little worse about yourself* Look at that person being awesome over there! *Feel even worse*

We don’t have time for me to launch into my diatribe on limits on technology and a full tech detox (Cliffs Notes version: they’re both extremely necessary for each of us!), but I want to highlight the challenge that looking elsewhere creates for us truly appreciating our unique strengths. Theodore Roosevelt said it best, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” 

Basically, when we’re focused on the thing we don’t have, we can’t be content. And until we’re content and fully appreciate our own strengths, we won’t be able to fully use them. 

#PositiveAction Spend 5 minutes being grateful for the strengths you have. Write them down and think about how helpful they’ve been throughout your life.*

*Note, I love this exercise because you only have to spend a few minutes doing it, but you can refer back to it as often as you want!


Image by Photo Mix from Pixabay 

As I’ve shared before, I used to wish for different strengths. It’s so easy to look at someone who is using their strengths and lament how you can’t do it as good as they can. And you’re right! That’s not your strength and it’s not what you should spend your time doing.

I listened to a great Disrupt Yourself podcast recently about figuring out your strengths when you’re struggling to surface them. The tip that I loved: What is something that made you weird as a kid and how can you leverage that now? It’s a fun thing to think about… once you get past the shame and embarrassment of your bad haircut/clothing/personal style/etc. that accompany the memory!

It can be hard to identify your strengths, particularly if you’re new to the world of work. There are lots of different approaches you can use to help you come up with answers. Often, it’s more challenging to acknowledge and appreciate your strengths after you’ve identified them. 

As one example, I remember going through an MBTI exercise early in my career and having the feeling of flunking the test! More accurately, I wasn’t yet comfortable with owning aspects of my personality like being an introvert. I incorrectly assumed that extraverts have more fun* and I was destined for an unfun career and life, complete with a BORING label stamped across my forehead. *Note: extravert fun is a different kind of fun that actually isn’t fun for me, but rest assured I’ve managed to have my fair share of introvert hijinks!

Being an introvert doesn’t make me weird, there are lots of introverts in the world. My enthusiasm isn’t weird either. Lots of people are psyched about things! Neither is my bent toward efficiency and order (though many will argue those traits are a little over the top!). It’s not my love of reading or cats or nature or TED Talks or thrift shops or anything else. But when you combine all those things that make me, me, you get something completely unique and original. 

And that’s true for Every. Single. Person. None of us can really be “normal”, since that doesn’t exist. This planet is filled with 7.5 billion unique, original, weird people and counting.  

If the “keep it weird” campaigns of many cities like Austin, Portland, and even Milwaukee will attest, weird is more about celebrating something unique. Weird is now a compliment. 

Interestingly, many of my clients struggle to talk confidently about their strengths and communicate the immense value that they bring. So we work together to make sure they are comfortable embracing their story in all its weirdness. This is absolutely crucial to your personal brand. Sharing your value helps other people to know what they get when they work with you. It creates clarity for others and gives you freedom to do your best work.

You can work authentically by owning your strengths, idiosyncrasies, and especially the stuff that makes you weird. That’s your unique blend of skills, perspectives, and talents that NO ONE else in the world can bring.

So whadya say? Let’s keep it weird, people!!

Image by Tracy Lundgren from Pixabay

 

Many a high school and college graduation speech is spent telling young people to dream big. Shoot for the moon. Anything is possible! 

I'm not arguing with that advice at all. I think dreaming big is great! I also think it becomes harder to do the older we get. When was the last time you went to a retirement party where the advice everyone gives the retiree is to dream big about their next phase in life? Yeah. Me either.

Somewhere between our wide-eyed youth and our cynical old age, the act of dreaming starts to seem frivolous. Childish. Unnecessary. We go from thinking, “Anything is possible!” to “How can I survive this month? (Or sometimes day or even meeting)”. I want to point out that merely muddling through is a very low bar to set. There's no fun or joy in that. 

What if I told you that you could thrive? Would you believe me? Shrug it off? Say you don't have time for that?

Thriving looks and feels very different from surviving (aka muddling through) and that's because it has a dreaming component.

Many of us may be out of practice at dreaming, so let's define it first. A dream is a cherished aspiration, ambition, or idea. I know what you're thinking: “That sounds great! How do I get one?” The answer starts with questions. 

When we're young, we have questions about everything. As we get older, we start to think we have answers and stop asking questions. A great way to dream is to ask yourself questions. What would I do if money were no longer an issue? What drives me crazy that I wish I could change? What legacy am I leaving for my family? How do I want to be remembered? Am I having the kind of impact I want? What do I care most deeply about?

The list of questions is endless – I'm sure you thought of more just while reading that. More importantly, are you ready for your authentic answers? It's time each of us had a cherished aspiration, ambition, or idea we were working toward! When you do, you have energy, interest and excitement around bringing that dream to life.

I think the artist (and dreamer!) Jason Kotecki said it best, “The only dreams that have no chance of coming true are the ones never dreamed in the first place.”

Regardless of your age, you need to dream big. 

What areas of your life do you need to start reimagining? Can you dream bigger? 

#PositiveAction: Spend 5 minutes thinking about and writing the answer to one of the questions above (or one that you made up) and see if it helps to bring a dream into focus for you.

Image by tookapic from Pixabay