Month: March 2020

Stay-At-Home Survival Guide

Posted on by WorkAuthentically

In case you missed it, I’m hosting a FREE webinar on March 31. I’d love to see you virtually! Now, onto the blog…

 

 

 

Last week, we talked about our fear of the unknown and finding comfort in the familiar. We all need to find a way to deal with what we’re feeling. But for most of us, our everyday lives have been significantly altered, so let’s dive into where the proverbial rubber meets the road. We’re all primarily stuck at home. Now what do we do?!?!

Extroverts are miserable without the crowds and parties that sustain them. Introverts are miserable with their formerly quiet spaces being occupied (sometimes loudly!) by other family members with little means to escape. Ambiverts are miserable because they experience both sides.

Basically, everyone is experiencing some form of unhappiness, so right now, know that others are feeling the same as you. Uncomfortable. Frustrated. Freaking out! There are a lot of intense emotions. And with good reason. Many of us haven’t spent this much uninterrupted time with our spouses in years (or ever!). But honestly, whenever you put any more than one person into a confined space, whether tiny house or McMansion, eventually tensions are going to rise.

What can we do?

  1. Embrace the messiness
  2. Get creative

How do we embrace the messiness? Well, it starts by lowering expectations. You’re not going to be able to get as much work done with your kids home as you would if they weren’t there. You’re also likely not in a position where you have 7 hours free to teach your kids a full day of school following the exact schedule their teacher does. So cut yourself some slack and lean into the messiness. Once we stop expecting things to be like they “used to be” we can embrace where we actually are instead.

Then, it’s time to get creative! This week was supposed to be spring break for my kids. We’re not going anywhere (obviously!), but that doesn’t mean we’re going to be sitting around this week staring at each other!

We wrote down exotic destinations that would be fun to visit and drew one out of a hat yesterday. For the rest of the week, we’re going on a virtual trip to Australia! We’re making paper passports, doing kangaroo crafts, and learning about a place we’ve never been by checking some e-books out of the library. It’s simple, free, can be done from home, and it’s fun. In fact, my kiddos were so excited about it, they packed actual bags this morning to start the virtual trip!

Maybe you’re frazzled from all the change that’s happening now. That absolutely can stifle your creativity. But lucky for you, there’s lots of cool free things available right now that you can just start using! Here’s just a few ideas.

Audible (a division of Amazon) is offering free audiobooks for kids as long as schools are closed. The stories are for kids from preschool age into their teens. Stories are available in six languages.

While the kids are distracted, you can enjoy the sound of silence and catch up on your reading with a free trial of Kindle Unlimited (it’s for 30 days, so hopefully we’ll be past the worst of it by then). And if you don’t know where to start on Kindle Unlimited, my book, Change Authentically is available there! Happy reading!!

Maybe you’re missing music and being at concerts right now. I can’t help you with being jostled by a crowd and possibly spilled on, but you can listen to a million songs with no ads (and borrow Kindle books for free) with the Amazon Prime Music free trial. Dancing with wild abandon optional.

We’ve been checking in on zoo and aquarium cameras around the country. Just because we’re stuck at home doesn’t mean we can’t still see the world. Check out the exciting action of the turtles at Discovery World! 

We’ve also been getting as much fresh air (no link needed, just open your front door!) as possible. Sometimes all together, Sometimes just the kids. Sometimes with one parent and the kids so the other one has a little time to themselves. Find something that works for you. My Fitbit tells me that last week I was more active than I have been in 2 months, so I guess that’s a positive outcome, even if my productivity was lower. Remember, changing your expectations will make all of this easier!!

Most of us wouldn’t choose our current circumstances… but we CAN choose our response to them.

#PositiveAction Pick one creative excursion you can do from the comfort of your own home this week!

 

 

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

Take Comfort In What Brings You Comfort

Posted on by WorkAuthentically

 

This has been a unique month. Particularly the past few weeks as nearly everything and everyone makes adjustments due to COVID-19. Because it’s a new virus, there’s a lot of unknown, and unknown often triggers the fear response within us.

Fear is a normal, healthy bodily reaction designed to keep us safe, especially in the not-so-distant past when our ancestors were literally face to face with death on the daily. Many of us are several generations removed from a hunter/gatherer, face-deadly-possibilities lifestyle, so the fear reaction becomes less helpful to us.

At its least productive, fear can stop us in our tracks and prevent us from taking action. And as a person who loves positive action so much I literally wrote the book on it, I’m not cool with fear that messes with that.

I find that when I’m facing any unknown, whether trying something simple like a new recipe or something complex like engaging in a full career pivot, it helps to keep as much familiar around me as I can in times of change. Neil Postman reminds us, “Change is tremendously stressful, so control the amount of newness you must face.”

My version of this sentiment is to take comfort in what brings you comfort. When your part of the world seems like it’s in flux, find something that grounds and steadies you. The familiarity of comfortable things can calm the fear when faced with one or many unknowns.

Here’s just a few options:

  • Music – this is one of those wonderful time machines that can immediately transport us to another time and place without ever leaving our homes. I often gravitate toward albums from my youth when there’s a lot of change happening. If you want to shake it up a bit, search out a great cover version of a song you love.
  • Pajamas (or any other comfortable article of clothing) – there are very few bad days that can’t be cured at our house with a pair of pajamas and curling up on the couch to read or watch a movie. Caveat: As a person who works primarily from home, this does not mean PJ’s 24×7! Use comfy clothes sparingly so they can still give you the boost when you need it! 
  • Friends – I know we’re supposed to be limiting contact, but let’s use the amazing technologies that are all around us to stay (or get!) connected in new ways. I’ve already seen some really creative uses of online gathering this week!

There are lots of possibilities to choose from! Maybe it’s old movies, books, family photo albums, or something else entirely. The important thing is that you embrace whatever creates comfort and familiarity for you (which will likely be different than for me). It won’t be nearly as effective at fighting back the fear if it’s not something that is authentically you!

#PositiveAction Use something familiar and/or comfortable to ease the fear of the unknown as you navigate change!

 

But wait, there’s more! Are you looking for help in managing fear as you embark on something new (whether by choice or by chance)? Are you ready to face the unknown confidently? I’m offering a FREE 30-minute webinar on exactly this topic! Learn more and register here!

 

 

 

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

Slow Down to Speed Up

Posted on by WorkAuthentically

A few weekends ago, I needed to dedicate some time to complete technology upgrades. I had reached the end of my subscriptions for my website and email hosting and needed to either take action or pay up for another term. 

I’d done some research and didn’t really want to stay with my current provider because the tools weren’t great and had become a limiting factor for me around growth. Of course, the alternative – selecting a new provider and enduring the steep learning curve of brand new tools – wasn’t appealing either.

I mean, who wants to spend a weekend doing a tech upgrade? It’s definitely not in my top 10 list of fun weekend things to do! Even though it was a necessary next step for my business, it basically would entail 72 hours of work to put me in the exact same spot I was before the weekend started (with a functional website and email marketing solution). 

Why did I willingly agree to this change rather than take the path of least resistance and stick with my existing toolset? The short answer is pain. I’d finally gotten to the point where the pain of my current situation (and staying in it any longer) was greater than the pain of the change.

And so, I made the choice to dedicate a weekend to the work in the hope that it would be a way for me to slow down in order to speed up. In other words, do the the hard thing now knowing that I’d be in the midst of a steep learning curve for a while, but with the belief that it would set me up better for the future.

And that’s how many changes we make in our lives feel, isn’t it? The decisions to eat better or spend less are challenging in the moment, but will set us up for future success. Most of the time, they don’t feel like they’ve moved the needle toward our goal at first. In fact, it feels almost the same as before that decision but worse, since change is hard AND we don’t see immediate progress! Case it point: my tech upgrades actually took a full week before everything was running smoothly-ish again.

Eventually, it comes around, though. I take great comfort in this wisdom from Agnes de Mille, “No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.”  

The decisions that “future me” will thank me for aren’t always obvious in the moment. Sometimes we need a little distance and some hindsight to see the benefit of a particular choice. I don’t know yet if my choice of website providers will pay off big, but I am enjoying the early benefits of improved ease of use. That’s a win I’ll take as I continue to monitor progress!

The same is true for any decision you need to make to set yourself up for future success.

Want to learn more about change and get ideas that you can start using immediately? Check out our new release Change Authentically: A guide to transform your job and life through positive action. No money? No problem! You can read it for FREE with a free trial of Kindle Unlimited!

#PositiveAction What area of your work would benefit from the slow down to speed up approach?  

BTW: If you haven’t checked it out yet, I’m really happy with how my website changes turned out! Also, if you’re in the market for a new website and business email addresses, I’d recommend DreamHost. 

 

 

 

Image by Michael Schwarzenberger from Pixabay

Book Lessons Part 3

Posted on by WorkAuthentically

I’m sharing some of the lessons I’ve learned from writing and publishing my first book. Check out Lesson 1 and Lesson 2 for more details.

Lesson 3 – Focus on the process, not the results. Because even when you follow the process, the results aren’t guaranteed.

The world is filled with stories of stuff that didn’t work. Failed inventions. Business ideas that a person poured their heart and soul into, only to see that the market didn’t support it. Sometimes, we even use those stories as a reason not to try.

I loved Seth Godin’s book, What to Do When It’s Your Turn (and it’s always your turn). It very eloquently describes the exact phenomenon I experienced as part of the process. There is no guaranteed, tried-and-true method to create a #1 song, a bestseller, or a viral sensation. But wanting these results often changes our approach. We try what worked for someone or something else and hope it will apply to us. And it’s disappointing when that doesn’t work.

But the value is in the process itself. To quote David Whyte, “Good work, done well for the right reasons and with an end in mind” is the reward. Not the positive or negative reviews from others.

It’s about putting your best into the end product authentically, regardless of how it’s received by anyone else.

An awesome friend and fellow writer helped me keep my eye on the process every single time I got distracted by fear of possible results. Sidebar: if you love football (and who doesn’t really?!?!), check out his books on the NFL draft and free agency.

So what sorts of fears were distracting me? Fears like: What if everyone hates it? They might. What if no one buys a copy? Definitely a possibility. What if I spell a word wrong and get a bunch of negative reviews and angry emails? Some people do get upset with poor grammar.

All of those things I listed are possibilities. There are lots of others too, like selling a million copies or becoming a New York Times bestseller (funny how we don’t worry about those positive results like we do the negative!). Either way, I don’t control the results. So I can’t let it change what I’m doing or how I’m doing it or why I’m doing it!

Easy to say… much harder to let go of the results when we’re in the thick of things at work. Sometimes we need the results in order to earn a bonus or reward. Sometimes we need the results to keep our jobs. It can become high stakes, high stress really quickly.

The interesting thing is that when we keep our focus on doing good work for the right reasons, the results often follow.

#PositiveAction What results or fears do you need to let go of so you can focus your attention on the process of doing good work?

 

 

 

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay