Author: WorkAuthentically

Say Yes

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Yes And is the key to collaboration and innovation

One of my favorite books that I’ve read in the past decade is Improv Wisdom: Don't Prepare, Just Show Up by Patricia Ryan Madson. It distills the concepts from improv comedy for use in work and life. 

One of the cornerstones of good improv is to say Yes And. Regardless of what someone else says to you, you agree and then add on to it. A comedy sketch dies pretty quickly if you say, “Here I am on an inflatable raft with my in-laws” and someone else replies, “No you’re not.”

You could see where saying yes becomes extremely important in improv. It’s equally important at work (since most of us don’t work in comedy). We need yes and to collaborate and build something great together. 

Here’s examples of how this has been showing up in my work and home life lately. For work, I’ve been saying yes to new opportunities and meeting new people. I continue to be amazed by the connections I’m making and the different doors that are opening as a result. Who would’ve guessed that I’d be a guest lecturer at a university? Not me! But saying yes and led me there.

At home, I have primary responsibility for taking my kids to and from school. They bring stuffed animals along for the ride most days, which then end up riding in the backseat with me until I pick the kids up again. One day, the kids asked me if the stuffed animals had been good while they were at school. 

I had two options. Shut it down by telling them that the stuffed animals are stuffed and don’t do anything while they’re at school. OR I could accept their reality and add on to it. I responded, “Yes they were good, but got a little rambunctious when I was at work.” Not only did my story delight my children, but it gave us a chance to talk about a good vocabulary word (“What does rambunctious mean?”) and gave them a chance to explain the “rules” to the stuffed animals around expected behavior (teaching is such a great way to solidify your learning!).

Now, I routinely get a chance to practice my storytelling when the question of what the stuffed animals did comes up. We all enjoy using our imaginations to add on to whatever the starting point is (yes!) and we have lots of fun doing it.

#PositiveAction Find one thing to say yes to today!

 

Image by engin akyurt from Pixabay

Noticing Strengths

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We talked already about owning your weirdness and being content with the strengths you have, but there’s an often overlooked question within there. How in the world do you do it?

As someone who needed more help than the average bear in this regard, here’s the best advice I have (so far!):

  1. Keep Learning
  2. Keep Experimenting

There is a joy to getting clarity… to finally feeling like you have the answer to a question you weren’t even sure you were asking. The thing is, we’re not taking a test where there’s a single right answer. It’s more like a life-long essay question that we keep adding to over the years. There’s always more to learn, if you’re open to learning. 

I am still getting new insights on my own strengths. I ask questions of my clients to help them do the same. Sometimes, things become so familiar that we think we know the answer without actually asking ourselves the question. But as humans, we’re always changing. In the same way that the seasons are always changing from one into the next. They don’t change in one day, but rather incrementally until all of a sudden we finally NOTICE the change. The key is to notice what you’re learning (and adjust as necessary)!

The other piece is around experimenting. There are lots of ways for each of us to be successful at work. Just because you have a specific skill set doesn’t mean you’re stuck in exactly the same job for the rest of your life. If you’re enjoying the work, that’s fine, but for many Americans, that simply isn’t the case. So start to think about ways that you can use your exact same strengths slightly differently. 

Here’s an example. One of my favorite things to do over the course of my technology career was to help people use technology to be more efficient and effective. Sometimes, that was simply sharing tips and tricks I’ve learned with someone over lunch; sometimes that was conducting department-wide education sessions. Both of those are examples of teaching. I’ve taken that strength and applied it in a new way to the work that I do now: I teach people how to identify and tell their best story so they can work authentically. 

You may already be experiencing success by leveraging your strengths. But you may also discover that when you experiment, you start working at a level of success you’ve never seen before!

#PositiveAction Pick a strength to experiment differently with this week and notice what changes!

 

Photo by me. In a Target parking lot. Proof that inspiration really is all around us if we're willing to look!

 

Contentment, So Refreshing

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Contentment strengths work career coach
Content-mint!

*Ignoring my mint joke in the title… Contentment in American society today is even more difficult to find than a person who has actually achieved work-life balance! But when you’re content with what you have, whether food, clothes, or your unique strengths, you can not only be grateful for them and enjoy them but you can find creative ways to use them. 

So what’s that got to do with being weird? 

We talked last week about the importance of owning your weirdness, those things that make you unique. It’s hard sometimes, to appreciate the thing that’s made you weird your whole life. Quite likely, it’s been labeled as bad by someone else and it takes some mental and emotional work on our part to reclaim that same weird thing as awesome! 

That’s exactly the work we need to do, though. You can never fully appreciate your strengths as long as you’re comparing them to someone else’s. You’ll always be able to find someone using similar strengths in a way that you think is better. The internet is great in a lot of ways, but it also puts comparison in our face ALL. THE. TIME! Look at this person being awesome over here! *Feel a little worse about yourself* Look at that person being awesome over there! *Feel even worse*

We don’t have time for me to launch into my diatribe on limits on technology and a full tech detox (Cliffs Notes version: they’re both extremely necessary for each of us!), but I want to highlight the challenge that looking elsewhere creates for us truly appreciating our unique strengths. Theodore Roosevelt said it best, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” 

Basically, when we’re focused on the thing we don’t have, we can’t be content. And until we’re content and fully appreciate our own strengths, we won’t be able to fully use them. 

#PositiveAction Spend 5 minutes being grateful for the strengths you have. Write them down and think about how helpful they’ve been throughout your life.*

*Note, I love this exercise because you only have to spend a few minutes doing it, but you can refer back to it as often as you want!

Image by Photo Mix from Pixabay 

Keep It Weird

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As I’ve shared before, I used to wish for different strengths. It’s so easy to look at someone who is using their strengths and lament how you can’t do it as good as they can. And you’re right! That’s not your strength and it’s not what you should spend your time doing.

I listened to a great Disrupt Yourself podcast recently about figuring out your strengths when you’re struggling to surface them. The tip that I loved: What is something that made you weird as a kid and how can you leverage that now? It’s a fun thing to think about… once you get past the shame and embarrassment of your bad haircut/clothing/personal style/etc. that accompany the memory!

It can be hard to identify your strengths, particularly if you’re new to the world of work. There are lots of different approaches you can use to help you come up with answers. Often, it’s more challenging to acknowledge and appreciate your strengths after you’ve identified them. 

As one example, I remember going through an MBTI exercise early in my career and having the feeling of flunking the test! More accurately, I wasn’t yet comfortable with owning aspects of my personality like being an introvert. I incorrectly assumed that extraverts have more fun* and I was destined for an unfun career and life, complete with a BORING label stamped across my forehead. *Note: extravert fun is a different kind of fun that actually isn’t fun for me, but rest assured I’ve managed to have my fair share of introvert hijinks!

Being an introvert doesn’t make me weird, there are lots of introverts in the world. My enthusiasm isn’t weird either. Lots of people are psyched about things! Neither is my bent toward efficiency and order (though many will argue those traits are a little over the top!). It’s not my love of reading or cats or nature or TED Talks or thrift shops or anything else. But when you combine all those things that make me, me, you get something completely unique and original. 

And that’s true for Every. Single. Person. None of us can really be “normal”, since that doesn’t exist. This planet is filled with 7.5 billion unique, original, weird people and counting.  

If the “keep it weird” campaigns of many cities like Austin, Portland, and even Milwaukee will attest, weird is more about celebrating something unique. Weird is now a compliment. 

Interestingly, many of my clients struggle to talk confidently about their strengths and communicate the immense value that they bring. So we work together to make sure they are comfortable embracing their story in all its weirdness. This is absolutely crucial to your personal brand. Sharing your value helps other people to know what they get when they work with you. It creates clarity for others and gives you freedom to do your best work.

You can work authentically by owning your strengths, idiosyncrasies, and especially the stuff that makes you weird. That’s your unique blend of skills, perspectives, and talents that NO ONE else in the world can bring.

So whadya say? Let’s keep it weird, people!!

Image by Tracy Lundgren from Pixabay

 

The Important Thing Is To Dream

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Many a high school and college graduation speech is spent telling young people to dream big. Shoot for the moon. Anything is possible! 

I'm not arguing with that advice at all. I think dreaming big is great! I also think it becomes harder to do the older we get. When was the last time you went to a retirement party where the advice everyone gives the retiree is to dream big about their next phase in life? Yeah. Me either.

Somewhere between our wide-eyed youth and our cynical old age, the act of dreaming starts to seem frivolous. Childish. Unnecessary. We go from thinking, “Anything is possible!” to “How can I survive this month? (Or sometimes day or even meeting)”. I want to point out that merely muddling through is a very low bar to set. There's no fun or joy in that. 

What if I told you that you could thrive? Would you believe me? Shrug it off? Say you don't have time for that?

Thriving looks and feels very different from surviving (aka muddling through) and that's because it has a dreaming component.

Many of us may be out of practice at dreaming, so let's define it first. A dream is a cherished aspiration, ambition, or idea. I know what you're thinking: “That sounds great! How do I get one?” The answer starts with questions. 

When we're young, we have questions about everything. As we get older, we start to think we have answers and stop asking questions. A great way to dream is to ask yourself questions. What would I do if money were no longer an issue? What drives me crazy that I wish I could change? What legacy am I leaving for my family? How do I want to be remembered? Am I having the kind of impact I want? What do I care most deeply about?

The list of questions is endless – I'm sure you thought of more just while reading that. More importantly, are you ready for your authentic answers? It's time each of us had a cherished aspiration, ambition, or idea we were working toward! When you do, you have energy, interest and excitement around bringing that dream to life.

I think the artist (and dreamer!) Jason Kotecki said it best, “The only dreams that have no chance of coming true are the ones never dreamed in the first place.”

Regardless of your age, you need to dream big. 

What areas of your life do you need to start reimagining? Can you dream bigger? 

#PositiveAction: Spend 5 minutes thinking about and writing the answer to one of the questions above (or one that you made up) and see if it helps to bring a dream into focus for you.

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

Shake It Up

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I walk regularly through my neighborhood. Not daily. Not at exactly the same time. Not the same route every time, but regularly enough where I find I need to shake up my routine.

Walking is one of those things that our bodies have made so automatic that we don’t usually have to think about it. Since I don’t have to use my brain for walking (hooray!), I typically use my walking time to think or listen to music or a podcast. But I also make it a point to change it up sometimes. 

I’m a naturally fast walker, so sometimes I purposely try to walk slowly. I intentionally notice and appreciate new things on my slow strolls. Sometimes, I try to walk faster than normal, which gets me more focused on how I’m moving and using my muscles. Sometimes I focus on my posture and I am usually surprised to discover that I’ve been spending my day a bit slouchy (I blame it on my abs-of-less-than-steel! Probably not a best seller in the fitness video genre… Moving on!).

All the different approaches to the same task of walking help me learn new things about myself. I can appreciate that my natural style (fast, efficient walking) sometimes needs to be adjusted, like when I walk with my 94-year-old uncle. He’s actually pretty spry for his age and I’ll admit I had a higher than average step count the last time he visited us! I also need to change up my natural style when I walk with my kids because they are infinitely curious and constantly stopping to investigate things. Just as I change it up when I’m chatting with a friend on a walk, where the discussion is more the point than the physical activity.

The same is true in our work. Each of us completes many tasks each day without thinking too hard about them. What routine tasks do you need to try with a new approach? If you normally spend hours crafting the perfect email, try setting a timer on your phone for 10 minutes and click send when it goes off. If you normally lead discussion or are the largest contributor in meetings, try listening for an hour (which will feel roughly like eternity!) instead and see what you learn.

The first time you shake up your routine, it’s going to feel strange and challenging and possibly uncomfortable. Pay attention to those feelings and then reflect on why that might be the case.

There are so many dimensions that make up our authentic selves and many of them we don’t think about because they are innate. Deliberately doing something differently can help you understand yourself more, learn a better approach, gain empathy for other’s perspectives, and open your eyes to a world around you that you’ve been missing.

You may not choose to keep the change long-term and that’s OK. It’s about learning and growing while expanding the edges of your comfort zone. What routine thing can you shake up this week?

Image by Chiemsee2016 from Pixabay

New and Improved

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Are you feeling bored at work? Stuck doing the same tasks over and over without feeling like you’re making progress? Mindlessly following the same dull routines? It’s time to try something new. 

I’m not saying you need to start looking for a new job – there’s a lot of factors that go into that decision – but you absolutely need to get out of the rut you’re in. And here’s the great news if you’re not enjoying your job: the something new should be something completely unrelated to your day job.

In fact, the more unrelated it is to something you already know, the better!

That’s because our brains are infinitely complex. Science has only started to scratch the surface on understanding that complexity, but here’s the rationale: the new thing you try wakes your brain up by creating new neural pathways. So learning something new literally creates new connections in your brain, activating it in a way it hasn’t been before. Regardless of age, humans have the capacity to grow more pathways. How fantastic is that? New and improved go hand in hand!

In my own life, I work to keep learning a priority. This year, I made a commitment to try one new thing a month. It doesn’t take a ton of time, but it does take a little planning to make sure that a month doesn’t go by without scheduling something! I know that everyone is already overscheduled and overworked, which is why it’s especially important to have something on the calendar you actually WANT to do vs. all those have-to-do items.

Try to pick something that sounds interesting to you, or is on your bucket list of things to try “someday”. I don’t typically have a plan before the month starts on what type of activity I’m going to try. It depends on what’s being offered, what my schedule looks like, and how much time I can carve out. Sometimes, it’s an excursion to a museum sans my interrupting cows… aka alone. Sometimes it’s a free or low cost class. 

This month I tried a painting class at a library where the supplies were provided so all I had to do was show up. One month I watched a documentary and participated in a group discussion afterwards. Another month I went on a naturalist-led hike. There are endless possibilities to choose from, but know that you can’t choose incorrectly. Anything new will work. You don’t have to fall in love with a new hobby in order to reap the benefits from creating new neural pathways in your brain.

Here’s what I love about trying something new. When my brain wakes up, all of me wakes up. I end up living life more fully and authentically because I’m not on autopilot. It also helps jumpstart my creativity. Taking a break to try the unrelated new things often leads to breakthrough ideas of how to solve some of my tough work problems. Most importantly, trying something new is fun (once you get past the fear getting outside your comfort zone). I’ve met cool people, learned fascinating things, and said yes to a wide variety of activities as a result. And if we’re being honest, most of us need a little more fun in our lives!

If you’re looking for a way to make your current job more interesting and exciting, trying something new is a great way to get unstuck. Pick one thing and get started!

 

The Next Big Thing

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There's always the latest thing that you have to try, buy, wear, or be. Frankly, it can be exhausting to try to keep up. Here's the good news: you don't have to!

It turns out that the harder you try to imitate someone else's style, work patterns, or speech, the less authentic it appears. You can probably think of someone you've met that seems like they're trying too hard. At its worst, they go beyond seeming insincere and move into unbelievable. 

Most of us have been there at some point in life where we edit our personality and approach to try to fit in. Maybe it was to impress the cool kids in high school. Or maybe it's at your current job because you don't feel like you can be yourself there. 

It becomes a vicious cycle where you try hard to act the way you think you need to, but no one buys it because it's not really you, so you dig deeper and try even harder. That's a game no one can win.

So why do we put ourselves through the agony then? It often stems from the fact that we overvalue what others bring to the table, while selling our own strengths short. Because your strengths are inherently easy for you, you assume that they must be easy for everyone (which is not the case at all, btw!).

The first step toward authenticity, then, is to identify and understand your strengths. Some people have a clear idea of what these are, and some people, like myself, take years to discover and acknowledge them. Once you have that piece, you need to merge it with your personal brand (all the pieces of you that create the total experience of working with you). 

Think about someone you've worked with that seems to be doing exactly what they were designed to do. In addition to being great at it, they also are truly enjoying themselves, even (and especially!) when the work is challenging. That's what you want to target for yourself: doing the work you were designed to do, in only the way you can, using all your unique strengths.

It turns out that when you Work Authentically, the next big thing will be YOU! 

Do you need help with identifying your strengths or building your personal brand? I'd love to chat with you!

 

Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay

Accountability, the Fun Shortcut

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Last week, we talked about making progress and assessing if you’re getting closer or further from where you want to be. Today, let’s look at one of the ways you can make progress happen faster. It relies on at least one other person. 

Some of you are going to say, “Wait a minute, Ally! If I’m relying on another person, won’t it slow me down and keep me from making great progress on my own?” But here’s the thing, it actually helps you speed up and stay on track. That’s the beauty of having an accountability partner.

An accountability partner is a simple concept: it’s someone that you tell about a change you want to make and they help hold you accountable for making those changes. Basically, they are a checkpoint, a cheerleader, and sometimes a source of tough love as you go through your journey. 

Since change is hard, especially on your own, the more systems you can put in place to help you be successful, the better off you’ll be. This is one of those systems. It’s an achievement hack. I use it for generating progress on big dreams as well as small tasks, because it’s so effective. And if I'm being honest, it's pretty fun too!

Here’s how it looks in real life.

As an entrepreneur, I have the freedom to decide how to spend my time, which is wonderful! But it also means I need to make sure I’m spending time on the most important things and not chasing after every squirrel-idea that crosses my path (which by the way is a LOT!). Enter my accountability partners! I meet with a group of entrepreneurs monthly to check in and hold each other accountable for making progress on those things that are most important to our respective businesses. None of us wants to show up to that meeting saying we made no progress, so we are each taking action over the course of the month to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Another example: as a career coach, I recommend to my clients that they update their career story (resume, LinkedIn, portfolio, etc.) every quarter. But let’s be honest, when left to our own devices, most of us aren’t going to do that. Unless you’re into the desperate place where your job has become soul-sucking and you are doing everything in your power to get out of there, in which case, I know a great career coach that can help! 

So instead of dreading making updates to your career story, schedule drinks or dinner (or both!) with a friend. Start out the gathering by taking 10 minutes to update your respective stories and reminding each other of the great accomplishments you’ve had over the quarter. Then kick back and enjoy dinner, knowing that you and your accountability partner have completed that task and that should your dream job open up next week, you’re completely ready for it!

Most people have tasks they dread, but love dinner and hanging out with friends, so feel free to employ this strategy for the variety of things you have a tendency to avoid. It’s an amazingly effective (and fun!) way to make progress.

Progress

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Should I start out this mid-summer post by saying something to the effect of “Can you believe we’re already halfway through 2019?” Or does it feel like it’s already been exactly 212 days since the start of the year? Some years feel slower and more challenging than others, but the fact of the matter is, time flies, whether we’re having fun or not. 

So instead of time, let’s talk about progress (and if you like progress, you’ll enjoy this post on progress vs. perfection). 

With the exception of leap years, we each get 365 days to make progress on those things that are important to us. Being that we’re halfway through the year, how’s your progress been?

For me, I made the switch a few years back to focus on a word of the year, rather than on a list of goals. It’s been transformational, in that the word tends to infuse itself into every aspect of my life, even though I had originally intended it for improvement in a specific area.

My word for 2019 is enough. It started out as more of a clutter free / minimalist / simple living sort of mantra to start asking the intentional question of do I have enough of x? It’s funny sometimes how a simple question can spark profound change. It quickly morphed from do I have enough plates, shirts, or books to an inquiry around enough of everything. Am I spending enough meaningful time with my family? Do I have enough work? Am I contributing enough to my community?  My word of the year is a lens that I can filter all my decisions through to decide where and how to best focus my energy and time.

So am I making progress this year? Yes. Is it noticeable? Yes. Am I improving in dimensions that are important to me? Yes! Is it a goal tied to a specific metric that has a color on a dashboard? No.

And I’m ok with that. I’ve had enough (see what I did there?) experience hitting specific targets and delivering results. As is often the case in work and in life, numbers don’t tell the whole story. 

When it comes to your career journey, only you can decide how you feel about your current role and when it’s time for a change. Maybe you know where you’re headed, but aren’t there yet, sort of like that hot air balloon picture above. That’s fine, as long as you’re making progress. Today’s a great time to take a look at your progress and see if you need to adjust for the rest of the year. I promise you’ll be reading articles starting with “Can you believe it’s the end of the year already?” before you know it!

Note: There are several folks who advocate for a word of the year (or even a life word if you want take the long view!). Check out Jon Gordon, Evan Carmichael, or this article from Inc if you want to dig a little deeper.